just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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