in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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