she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Drake has all the answers
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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