You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i just wanna soil my oats bro
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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