found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
