all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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