haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Randomize
