Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize