I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
