Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
