What a fucking waste of an outfit
smell my finger.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
