the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
