hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
