saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
