In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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