should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
