there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
