We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
