Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Randomize
