would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
