Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
