Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
