Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Randomize
