just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
