Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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