Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
