I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
