I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
