When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
