I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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