he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
