Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
