if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
