it wasn't lemon gatorade
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
