No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
