dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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