this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
