so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
