And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
