Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
