so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
