and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
