Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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