dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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