office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
