Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
