U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Randomize
