Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
