it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Randomize
