super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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