KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
When did angry sex become our thing?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
